Legends in their own Nightlife

Legends. Run by a Brit. In the centre of Warsaw. Sky sports. British food on the menu. British drinks. So why is it such a disappointment (for this writer)?

First, the decor.

It calls itself a British pub, so why does it look like a coffee shop? All uncomfortable wooden surfaces, especially the stark  decoration and bottom numbing seating. Coffee shop decor encourages turnover. Pubs encourage soppy looking dogs to lounge in the corner and old men to cackle over half pints. The gentle murmur of conversation. The crackle and spit of the fire. Round after round without end. Those are the best pubs.

Someone, somewhere, made a decision not to go down that route. I’d dearly love to know what their reasoning was.  

Second, the location.

The first time I tried to find this pub and restaurant I got lost. That’s because I could get lost in a phone box. Nevertheless, it is a little off the beaten path. The nearest bar is well over 150 metres away. And even that bar is an oasis of its own (the ludicrously expensive, Gataca plastic, Champions bar).

Third, the clientele.

Now on the last occasion I went it was not really a great night. England playing Montenegro with a pub quiz. Not full, not really empty. 

Maybe I am naive, but I was shocked by the attitude of the ex-pats there. Leering over the Polish waitresses, being rude with each other about their wives (who were sitting with them). Shouting at each other crudely. It was exactly that ex-pat pub. As a result I saw people walk in to a half empty bar and walk out again. Never a good sign. None of them spoke Polish, or seemed to be trying to in any way. All of them were leery clichés of fat Brits.

I guess I’m not angry, just disappointed at what a great goal has been missed with Legends. If it really was a British pub I’d be there regularly, even with the location and the punters . I try to embrace life in Poland fully but the opportunity to sit in a good pub should never be missed. Legends is not that opportunity, which is a shame, because it really could be.

But I’m not here to just moan, honest 'Guv. 

So here’s the solution. Throw out the backbreaking chairs. Throw out the cream coloured walls and the cheesy posters with descriptions of “soccer.” Make it look like a standard pub – steal everything from inside the hellhole that is that “Irish” pub at the top of Nowy Swiat if you have to - If you build it I will come.

I am sure the owner of Legends feels this description is incorrect.  If he happens to see this I’d be glad to print his reply. If you disagree, tell me why.